Your glorious eyes

Attachment means attunement. Attunement means pleasure and interest, joy and attentiveness. Attunement requires the face to face communion, the mutual gaze transaction. So if I want to attach and connect with You, I have to enter into a mutual gaze transaction, that is, I have to see Your face or at least experience what Your face would look like if You were here. I would have to imagine. Taking what I know about You and what You are like, I have to construct a face that would be consistent with that verbal portrait You have painted in the Bible.

So, are You interested in me? Are You attentive to me? Are You enjoying me? Do You take pleasure in me? Are You smiling? Are You happy? Am I important enough to You for You to desire to be with me? What is the look on Your face now?.....

I am reminded of a verse early in Isaiah:

Isaiah 3:8 “For Jerusalem has stumbled,

and Judah has fallen,

because their speech and their deeds are against the LORD,

defying his glorious presence.”

1. Presence = eye = “The eye is used to express knowledge, character, attitude, inclination, opinion, passion, and response. The eye is a good barometer of the inner thoughts of man. Of all the physical organs of the body, the eye was considered one of the more important. Anthropomorphically eyes are attributed to God. His eyes are in every place, observing the good and evil (Proverbs 15:3). They focus throughout the whole earth to defend the righteous (2 Chronicles 16:9). Man can find favor in the eyes of the Lord (Genesis 6:8). When God directs his eyes to man, he sustains and delivers him (Ps 33:18; 34:15). The eyes are a mirror of man’s inner being.” (from Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament) So does that mean that Your eyes are a mirror of Your inner being?
2. Glorious = The basic meaning is “to be heavy, weighty,” a meaning which is only rarely used literally. From this figurative usage it is an easy step to the concept of a “weighty” person in society, someone who is honorable, impressive, worthy of respect. So he is not only to be honored because of his position as sovereign head of the universe, but because of his surpassing character in all realms. Over against the transience of human and earthly glory stands the unchanging beauty of the manifest God and the word takes on its most unusual and distinctive meaning. Its force is so compelling that it remolds the meaning. These manifestations are directly related to God’s self-disclosure’ and his intent to dwell among men. God wishes to dwell with men, to have his reality and his splendor known to them. On the one hand they quite legitimately refer to that reputation for greatness which God alone deserves, not only because of his natural position as king, but because of his unsurpassed activity as deliverer and savior. However, as the preceding discussion indicates, something more is intended here. It is not merely God’s reputation which fills the earth, but it is the very reality of his presence. And his desire is that all persons may gladly recognize and own this. His first step toward the achievement of these goals was to fill the tabernacle with his presence and then the temple. But nowhere is the reality and the splendor of his presence and his character seen as in his son (Isa 4:2). Here the near-blinding quality of his glory is fully portrayed, “We beheld his glory, the glory as of the only son of the Father, full of grace and truth” (Jn 1:14; cf. 17:1–5). Through him and through his presence in the church, God’s glory is indeed filling the earth (from The Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament).

So to re-write this verse: “...defying and provoking His glorious eyes.”

To use the term from attachment theory- “...defying and rejecting the relational beauty of the mutual gaze transactions with the Father.”

In attachment theory noted in Affect Regulation by Allan Schore, the most potent of early stimuli for proper infant brain development is the stimuli of the eye-to-eye contact and the mutual gaze transactions. It is the mother’s eyes that communicate many wonderful things into the brain of her infant. “Sustained facial gazing mediates the most intense from of interpersonal communication. The gaze, the eye-to-eye contact, gives nonverbal advance notice of the other. The structure of gaze is the most immediate and purest form of interrelation. The gaze provides clues to the readiness or capacity to receive and produce social information.” If that is the way You created the conduct and behavior of mother to infant, then I would suspect that You are looking for this same kind of interaction with Your children. Especially since in this verse, You use the term "eye". We have translated it “presence” and I can understand why. But from attachment theology, eye makes more sense. And the reason it makes more sense is because of the amount of information that is communicated through eye-to-eye contact. You are very eager to get important and valuable information communicated to me.

You use the term "glorious" to describe Your eyes. And that means weighty. That is, heavy in regard to its impact on me. Your eyes are something to take into the highest of regard. Your eyes are not slight. They are the most profound experience possible. And again, from attachment theology I know why. It is the eyes that tell me what is going on inside Your heart and mind regarding me. It is the eyes that tell me how You feel about me. It is the eyes that have a direct communication to my brain.

“Central foveal vision is important to the establishment of a primary attachment to the mother. The child fixates directly on the visible portion of the mother’s central nervous system, her eyes, which specifically reflect the activity and state of her right hemisphere, the area that is dominant for gaze behavior. The infant utilizes the mother’s expressed “optimal level of stimulation” as a template for the programming of the optimal level of stimulation for the development of his own brain.” (Affect Regulation and the Origin of the Self, by Allan Schore)

(It is no wonder that the nation of Israel stumbled and fell so disastrously. They rejected the beautiful smiling face of the most perfect attachment figure ever. They did not want to look into the glorious eyes of the gleaming Father. I guess I do the same thing.)

Your eyes establish attachment and allow me to fixate upon Your mind and heart. And what can be seen there is of foremost and utmost importance. What You are intending to communicate to me is the exceeding glory of Your relational beauty. You want eye to eye contact because through that form of communication, You can transfer so much information about how You feel about me. It is the most immediate and purest form of interrelation. It is the most simple way for You to get Yourself across to me. A smiling face can say more to me than a thousand theological terms. And it is directly into me, into my brain where memories and representations can be formed about You. And then those representations can create mental maps and mental models about how life can be with You loving me and being a secure base relationally for me.

Okay, so how do I “see” Your eyes? How do I enter into a mutual gaze transaction with You? I wish Jesus were here now. I could look into His eyes. To “see” Your eyes requires several things: imagination, experiencing You based on Your revealed truth, seeing the faces of other people with the same intentions that You have, solitude, quietness, receptiveness to the glory of grace in a facial expression.

Enough for now. I want to flesh this out more over the next several days.

Isaiah 52:12

Isaiah 52:12 - “I am he who comforts you...”

What does it mean that You comfort me? I know this verse was stated at a time in the history of Israel when they were under great distress from an attacking nation. They had been devastated by conquering nations and had been dragged into captivity to a foreign land. I am not in that position. I am under very little physical distress from any kind of attack. So my question is again, how do You comfort me? What does it mean that You comfort?

The word “comfort” is used often in attachment theory. And You use it often in the book of Isaiah. It is part of the 23rd Psalm, “Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me”. The Hebrew definition reads like this; “the root seems to reflect the idea of ‘breathing deeply,’ hence the physical display of one’s feelings, usually sorrow, compassion, or comfort.” To comfort then includes the element of emotional response. For You to comfort me tells me that You have an emotional response to me. That response would be a deep response. Emotions are based on external information that heightens an attentive state and that bias the motivational energy in a particular direction. All that to say, if You have a deep feeling about me, then You have a strong set of motivational factors that focus on me. You are geared toward me. I set off attentional energy in You.

But the word comfort is used as a verb. You comfort me. And as a verb, action is implied. You not only have a deep set of emotions regarding me, these emotions set You into action and movement. So what then is that action and movement? What is it that You do from the deep set of emotions that rule You?

The deepest sense of distress that I experience whether I know it or not is the distress that comes from relational un-wholeness, that is, the anxiety that I have from wanting to be accepted, loved, appreciated, effective, enjoyed. Being dismissive/avoidant about the role of people in my life insures that I have to make myself accepted, loved, appreciated, effective and enjoyed on my own. And that does not work. I have to have somebody other than myself to make sense of these. I am made to be enjoyed, accepted, appreciated. That is the way You made me.

The internal model in me, however, keeps me from other people and from You. My mental network keeps me distant from others. The framework within me sets me away from what You and others provide. And the end result is a constant state of anxiety. I may not feel it. I may not know it. It shows up as anger most of the time. I cannot be anxious about needing because I am independent. But I can be angry. That is how it shows up. Anger. The longing comes out in anger. The anxiety finally erupts in a mood of anger.

Now I see. You comfort me by bringing relational wholeness to me. Your energy moves me out of the avoidant state and into an attachment state with You and with others. You are loving, compassionate, kind, tender, engaging, attentive, focused, accepting. And You are all of that all of the time. Your motivational energy can be described as the Paternal Gleam. That describes Your attitude toward me: Paternal Gleam. Paternal gleam moves me out of avoidance and into attachment. To see You with paternal gleam means that You have the look of joy all over Your face whenever I come to Your mind or into Your presence. That is what You want me to see when I approach You. And that is all of the time. And that is very comforting.

Isaiah 50:10, to trust and to rely

Isaiah 50:10 “Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God.”

In attachment terminology, I am an avoidant person. That means that attachment and relational issues are going to be avoided. I have no mental model that regards bonding with others. Even though I get along well with people and enjoy being around people, I am going to seek independence over attachment. If I have a problem, I will seek to solve the problem on my own and the solution will not require anything from anybody other than myself. Any emotions that are associated with attachment will also be avoided or shoved into a mental hole and buried there.

Two terms are mentioned in this verse that are difficult for me to grasp: trust and rely. Both of these terms are attachment related ideas. As a matter of fact, these terms define attachment. To trust and to rely mean to bond to something. The Hebrew word for trust means “the sense of well-being and security which results from having something or someone in whom to place confidence”. Implied in this definition is the desire for well-being and security. And these come about because of something outside the person. There has to be something or somebody to have confidence in. So my question is how do I develop this “confidence”? Where does this confidence come from? These questions have been easily answered by attachment theory and human development research.

Attachment patterns are developed in a child within the first 12 months of his life. If the relational experience is one of attunement, marked by joy, pleasure, attentiveness and responsiveness then the child will have imprinted in his mind that people are a good source for well-being and security. He will be secure regarding relationships and be able to have close bonds with people. If the relational experience is one of dismissiveness and avoidance, then the child will have imprinted in his mind that life is to be done alone. He will avoid relationships and emotional experiences because they are not meaningful to him. If the child experiences an inconsistent attunement, then he will have imprinted in his mind that people are inconsistent and can only be partially available. He will become anxious regarding relationships.

A secure pattern of attachment will certainly be able to trust and to rely on others for well-being. But the avoidant and the anxious patterns will have much difficulty trusting or relying. And this inability to trust or rely will apply to God as well. If I have not learned how to trust in my relational history with primary care-givers then I will not be able to trust God. If the imprinted pattern in my mind is avoidant, then I will avoid any attempt at closeness whether it is with God or with anybody.

Here is a question that every infant will ask unconsciously: “Is an attachment figure available and likely to be responsive to my needs?” The needs are not just physical but include emotional needs as well. Depending on how the primary care-givers answer that question for the infant will determine the strategy that the infant will use to get through life. If the environment is responsive and available then the infant will have a place of confidence for depending and relying on others. If the environment is unavailable and unresponsive then the infant will develop strategies to make life work without confidence in another. And that applies to God. They will be insecure and unable to trust or to rely on somebody else to care for them or comfort them during times of distress.

I happen to be dismissive about relationships. I am avoidant in my attachment pattern. And that means that I live life being confident in only myself. No wonder I have a hard time trusting God for anything as evidence by the hard time I have praying. I solve all my problems or issues on my own and the solution will always require nothing from another person. Including God.

Isaiah 49, again

Isaiah 49:15-16 “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.”

These two verses graphically illustrate how You feel about me and further promote the idea of an “attachment theology”.

1. You will not forget me. To make this point, You picture the most precious and intimate attachment bond; the nursing mother and her infant. Could a mother ever forget her nursing child? The question is almost striking because the answer is so obvious. It is incomprehensible that this could ever occur. It is almost unnatural for a mother to forget her nursing child. And it is unnatural for a mother to not have a deep sense of bond with her infant. But You note that it could occur. It is possible that a nursing mother could forget or neglect her infant. Yet You will never forget me. The Hebrew word means “to forget or ignore”. In attachment terminology, You are always attentive to me. I am always present to You. I am always being considered by You. I am always on Your mind. No detail escapes Your notice. I am always being attended to by Your ever-constant caring gaze. To use our current culture wording, You do not have attention deficit disorder.
2. You have engraved me on the palms of Your hands. The Hebrew word for engraved is “cutting in or engraving in stone”. And it refers to “enacting a decree”. So what does it mean that You engrave me in the palms of Your hands? People often times write on their hands so that they will not forget something they need to do. I think that You are helping me understand that I am permanently etched into Your favor. You have carved my name on Your hands. You are saying that You are taking action to insure that You will never forget me. You are enacting a law to Yourself that You will never ignore me. You are binding Yourself to me. You are formalizing a decree that will not allow You to leave me unattended. And this decree is of Your own doing. You want me etched into Your palms. You want to attend to me. You want to be bound to me.
3. You keep my walls continually before Yourself. The Hebrew word for walls means “walls, father-in-law, mother-in-law”. And it can refer to close relatives in general. The word “before” means “to place a matter high, conspicuous before a person”. The word “continually” stresses the constancy of personal devotion. I get the feeling that the word “walls” is meant to describe the environment that I am living in now like living in a house but not necessarily the physical aspect as much as the relational aspect. Relatives seem to make me think of the relational past that I have experienced. In attachment theory, a person develops a particular attachment pattern or mental model as a direct result of the environment that he lived in. This pattern would be passed to him based on how his primary care-givers attuned to him or failed to attune to him. And unless strong measures are taken, this pattern will not change. And this environment is before You in a conspicuous place requiring much of Your attention. What I experienced in the past is a high priority to You because You know that if I am to get very close to You, I have to overcome some faulty attachment patterns that I learned in the past. You want that pattern changed so that we can bond. And then You add that term continually. You are personally devoted to attachment with me constantly. Never-ending. Always at it. And the cool thing is that I can see You changing that attachment pattern by all that You tell me. It is like the change occurs in me because of the way You bond to me. You show me how You are the perfect attachment figure.

Isaiah 49

I am trying to combine what i am learning about attachment theory with what i am learning about the fatherhood of God. At some time in the future i will try to do more to explain attachment theory. i am sort of developing what i casually refer to as "attachment theology". And i write as if i am writing to God. So you will notice that i refer to Him as You often.

Isaiah 49:8

“In a time of favor I have answered you; in a day of salvation I have helped you...”

1. In a time of favor, You answer. The word for favor means “pleasure, delight, favor”; in the special sense “to be favorably received”. It also contains the concept of “delight” or “acceptance” of an individual. Because You favor me, You answer me. That You favor me is an interesting idea. To rephrase it, You take pleasure in me. You delight in me. You are happy with me. You are overwhelmingly accepting of me. In attachment terminology, one of the key words is attunement. Attunement means pleasure and interest; joy and attentiveness. For You to delight in me and then to answer me is attunement. You attune to me. There is pleasure and there is interest. Sometimes it helps me to think about what the opposite of a word means. The opposite of pleasure would be displeasure or disgust. There is a lot out there that would make me think that You are disgusted with me. And frankly, there is plenty for You to be disgusted with. But it is obvious from this verse and many others that You are not disgusted with me. You take great pleasure in me. You enjoy me. I bring You happiness. I create in You delight. What look on Your face would I see if I could? What kind of face would show pleasure and delight and acceptance? I can imagine a smile that is a mile long; bright eyes with penetrating affection; raised eyebrows expressing engagement. That kind of face draws me toward You. Your face is the face of pleasure.
2. In a day of salvation, You help me. The Hebrew word for salvation is rich. “The root meaning in Arabic is ‘make wide’ or ‘make sufficient’; this root is in contrast to ‘narrow’, which means ‘be restricted’ or ‘cause distress’. That which is wide connotes freedom from distress and the ability to pursue one’s own objectives. To move from distress to safety requires deliverance. Generally the deliverance must come from somewhere outside the party oppressed. The one who brings deliverance is known as the ‘savior’.” I never heard this in a sermon. One of the key components in attachment theory is the distress that comes as a result of a break in attachment with the primary care-giver. As a matter of fact, the whole attachment theory was initiated by observing children experience distress and anxiety when a parent was removed from their presence for any one of a number of reasons, mostly unintended. Salvation then means the removal from the restricted environment of distress and anxiety to the unrestricted environment of peace and wholeness. Distress comes through detachment. The movement into peace comes through attachment. Salvation is You bringing about this movement. The Messiah came to bring me into an attachment bond with You. I was cleaned up for You by Him and now there is unrestricted access to You. I enter into what I refer to as “relational wholeness” with You. I can experience a deep and affectionate bond with You that will never end. I will always be able to see the face of pleasure whenever I turn Your way.

Isaiah 48

Hear are some thoughts from thinking and reading over a couple of verses in Isaiah 48. I am using the English Standard Version and when I quote the Hebrew definitions, i am using the Theological Word Book Of The Old Testament. I hope you have as much fun with God as i did over these ideas.

Isaiah 48:15-16

“I, even I, have spoken and called him; I have brought him, and he will prosper in his way.

Draw near to me, hear this: from the beginning I have not spoken in secret, from the time it came to be I have been there.”

1. You have spoken. You are not silent. There are words that You want me to hear. There is a message You want me to understand. So You speak. Any breakdown in the communication process leads to uncertainty. And You do not want me to be uncertain about Your intentions and feelings toward me. This is vital for attachment to continue. There has to be words to express You. And You are the one speaking those words. And You want it very clear. What is most important for me is to actually hear what You are saying. If I miss that message, then I miss You. That is why Your words are so important. They express You. And I could not know how You are if there are no words.
2. You have called. The Hebrew word for calling is closely associated with naming something. So for You to call is for You to name. That personalizes our connection. When Nancy and I named our children, we contemplated and discussed so that we would have the exact and perfect name for each of our children. It is heart warming to imagine that You are taking the time to give me the perfect and exact name. It is an expression of contact and intimacy. It is a spoken name. It shows that You are attentive to me. It shows that You know me. So when You are speaking, You are calling out my name and addressing me personally. To hear what You are saying means that I am going to be hearing You say my name. If I get quiet and imagine that You are saying my name, with a smile on Your face, looking deep into my eyes, my cheeks in Your hands...”Billy,...Billy,...”
3. You have brought. Now the actual Hebrew word is “to come”. The thought here is that You come to me. One of the most important words used in attachment language is “proximity seeking” behaviour. In other words, in an attachment bond between and child and parents, children seek to be as close as possible to the primary care-giver to maintain the safe and secure feeling that comes from being close. Whether You bring me close to You or You come close to me, You are actively involved in proximity seeking behaviour. You come as Savior. You came as strength. You come to comfort. And the list goes on. The point I want to feel is Your desire to be close to me and the actual work that You perform to make sure that proximity occurs between us. And again, what words would You be speaking? You are telling me that You want to be close to me and that You are going to make that happen. It is aggressive initiative from You. You move strongly toward me. I do not want to be close to a threat. You pose no threat. You are not going to shame me or create fear in me. You are going to insure that I feel safe and secure. Just like any good parent should do with their child.
4. I will prosper in my way. The Hebrew word for prosper means “to accomplish satisfactorily what is intended”. So my question for You is what is intended? What will I successively accomplish? Well, I think that You mean that I will achieve proximity with You. We will succeed at attachment to each other. The path to You will be a reality. The path will actually be traveled on together. And to succeed in proximity with You means that You have to create that path. And that path You becomes open to me through the Messiah who came to bring me into the open expanse out of the contracted prison of isolation from Your presence.
5. "Draw near to Me." Now the Hebrew word emphasizes this whole idea of proximity seeking behaviour. It literally means “being or coming into the most near and intimate proximity of the object (or subject)”. “The more essential significance of the root emerges in cases where the “drawing near” renders the subject close enough to the object to see it, to speak to it, or even to touch it.” And this is Your command. You are telling me to draw near to You. You want me to seek proximity with You. You want me close enough to You to hear You, to feel Your presence, to sense Your feelings for me. And when I am hearing You call my name, and when I am feeling Your desire to be with me, and when I am sensing Your love for me, and when I sense how special I am to You, I want more than ever to be close to You. I want to seek proximity with You.

welcome.

I am so excited for my father to get a blog! He has so much wisdom that we cannot get enough of and this seemed like the perfect way for us to get a glimpse of all that goes on in his quiet times. I hope you learn as much from him as we do! I am handing it over to him from here! ENJOY!